The Simpsons Arcade FREE

by Tony Picknell The original `The Simpsons` arcade game was a clever, funny, superbly designed beat `em up released by Konami (the perpetual gods of classic beat `em ups) in 1991. The original game has stood the test of time to remain my favorite beat `em up (in 2d) after all these years. When first downloading the free trial version of this, I wasn`t expecting much more than a slightly shoddy emulated port of the original game for iPhone/iPod touch. Imagine my surprise (and chagrin) when I realized this was, in actuality, a completely new game (although I suppose the EA logo should`ve tipped me off).

I played through the intro level, then did it again, just to cement my thoughts. It was clear to me that this was little more than a simple cash-in on The Simpsons franchise, like so many video games bearing The Simpsons brand, and that there was little to be excited about. The control was jittery, the music was uninspired, and the graphics were reminiscent of a flash game you`d see on the Newgrounds portal.

It continues to abysmally drag on with no interesting level design, and little enemy variety. In all fairness, I was only able to the play the first level, but if games such as Final Fight are able accrue a cast of colorful brawlers within it`s first level, why are we forced to accept two alterations of `spy-looking dude in suit`? Furthermore, the actual challenge is extremely limited, you can pretty much just do the jump+attack belly flop the whole level, and kick the poor bastards while they`re down. Similarly, the boss fight with Chief Wiggum consisted of little more than `walk left to avoid charge, smack him from behind`. On my second playthrough, I was able to trap poor Wiggum in the corner and smack him to death, tell me EA, doesn`t Chief Wiggum deserve better than that?

Another disappointing factor is that you are only able to play as Homer. I love me some Homer, but come on now, the original classic let you play as Homer, Bart, Lisa, and Marge. You can ‘summon’ the other family members for special attacks, which is cute, but ultimately unsatisfying. In the original, multiplayer version, two family members ‘combined’ their strengths in a similar fashion, but since all four of the Simpsons were playable, this led to more combinations and possibilities.

On the upside, I did find a few things notable. The ‘smack Homer to wake him up’ mini-game, played promptly after losing a life, is a cute, funny distraction. You are also not forced to listen to the game soundtrack, indeed, going to menu options you to play your own tunes instead, which prompted me to play ‘Camo is My Favorite Color’ by Bury Your Dead, which was a funny combination and made the game 10% more satisfying.

Ultimately, as a free title, it’s up to you to decide whether you want to waste your time and give this a try. Me? I’m more than unimpressed. Not only is it a waste of time, the full version is priced at a ghastly 4.99, which is exactly four dollars and ninety nine cents more than it’s worth. Give the free trial a try, I guess, but don’t expect much, it fails even as a decent distraction.

If you want better Simpsons-related fun, try rereading my review in Comic-book Guy`s voice. I promise you will be more entertained than if you were to, say, play this game. WORST SIMPSONS GAME EVER!

by ggwombat Full game is worth $4.99. I would recommend this game. Much better than Family Guy.

by Cocof22 PLZ MAKE THE FULL VERSION FREE FOR A DAY OR TWO. PLZ, I`LL GIVE It 1000 RATINGS, ALL 5 STARS. PLZ!